today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”
to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older
they were going to get fakes to buy fish
Flaphack #3: Feet feeling a bit sore? Pad your shoes with some tasty pancake inserts! Talk about fluffy comfort!
"What does the chef recommend?"
"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"
Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:
- Acquire several dozen limes.
- Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
- Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
- Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
- Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
- Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
- Marry them.
WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD
They better stay clear of the lettuce
IT TOOK ME LIKE 5 MINUTES TO REALISE THE LETTUCE JOKE MEANT ICEBURG LETTUCE
This makes me laugh. everytime. I will never not reblog this.
THIS IS MY NUMBER 1 FAVORITE THING OON THIS GOD FORSAKEN SITE.
roll model <3
if you were a flower
you’d be a damnnnndelion
MARYLIN MONROE WAS NOT A SIZE 0 SHE HAD CURVES. I CAN’T BELEIVE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO SOCIETY